


by the way they dance

by dellaluce



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Pesterlog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-18
Updated: 2011-01-18
Packaged: 2017-10-14 21:13:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/153519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dellaluce/pseuds/dellaluce
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>they had to talk about it sooner or later. he was just hoping it wouldn't be like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	by the way they dance

**Author's Note:**

> written as an aside for the 1/17/11 updates.

GG: dave!   
TG: sup   
GG: we have work to do! :D   
TG: man there you go all tiny cheerful pit boss again  
TG: i already have work to do  
TG: and work is definitely what ive been doing this whole time  
TG: im busting my ass raw over here for you with all this grueling breakneck copy-pasting  
TG: and im talking permanent damage  
TG: advanced carpal tunnel and finger bones all worn down from repeated key polishing  
TG: do you want me to live the rest of my life with stubby little fingers jade  
TG: do you  
TG: jesus christ this is awful  
TG: they really couldve smoothed this part out before release  
TG: guess thats why its in beta  
TG: because wow talk about shit game mechanics  
TG: rogue douchebag npcs with a rapemurder complex and godmode enabled aside  
TG: jack noir vs architecture in a shit-off  
TG: architecture wins  
TG: ohko   
GG: you sound busy, should i come back later? :P   
TG: nah im done  
TG: whats next on the agenda   
GG: breeding responsibilities!!!!!!!   
TG:  
TG: i  
TG: sorry  
TG: think i just had a seizure  
TG: on my keyboard  
TG: no big deal everythings chill  
TG: because i know you didnt just say breeding responsibilities   
GG: i did just say breeding responsibilities!  
GG: ive been talking to kanaya a little bit and apparently this is what the space player has to handle  
GG: and i know we dont have a lot of time to work with, but i think getting a head start would be really useful  
GG: its ok if you need to let it sink in <3   
TG: yeah no im fine  
TG: finest motherfucker who ever just  
TG: ...  
TG: accidentally dropped a full story in the wrong place  
TG: whoops  
TG: sorry  
TG: hope it doesnt land on anything important  
TG: that was basically horrible and impressive at the same time  
TG: not sure which wins out   
GG: oh wow i heard the crash from all the way up here...  
GG: maybe you should give it a rest for a little bit o_o   
TG: maybe  
TG: anyway yeah the news sent an sos a couple hours ago  
TG: but by now its long since sunk  
TG: dont bother sending rescue ships everyones dead  
TG: what a tragedy   
GG: ok good!   
TG: i dont think youre fully grasping the definition of tragedy here jade   
GG: yes i am  
GG: its what happens when silly cool guys are being incredibly melodramatic for no good reason!   
TG: oh damn  
TG: ice cold burn  
TG: let me find my hacksaw  
TG: all these black appendages have gotta go   
GG: so are you ready to get started?   
TG: .................................   
GG: dots are not an answer, mister!!!!   
TG: well  
TG: jade  
TG: uhhh  
TG: not that i dont  
TG:  
TG: but seriously dont you think we're a little young for this   
GG: i know its kind of sudden, dave :(  
GG: its really sudden for me too  
GG: but its part of our imperative so its not like we can avoid it   
TG: really because i think we can  
TG: i think we can enjoy avoiding it for many years to come   
GG: nope sorry!!!!  
GG: this has to happen whether we like it or not, dave!   
TG: well now that youve put it like that im totally ready  
TG: look  
TG: dont get me wrong jade  
TG: youre kind of  
TG: not bad  
TG: in that i could think of worse combos on the shipping chart or whatever   
GG: wow thats so flattering!!  
GG: who is this really charming guy and what has he done with my friend dave strider????????   
TG: goddamn cant you just give me some points for effort  
TG: im actually trying here  
TG: and kinda winging it considering this is in the top 5 conversations i never thought we would ever have  
TG: not like i had a state of the union address prepared   
GG: its ok dave  
GG: just take a few deep breaths  
GG: i know its a lot to absorb but it will be fine!   
TG: its just that  
TG: christ  
TG: i was intending to sit on this for a few years  
TG: wait and see if i was just being stupid or something   
GG: ...huh??   
TG: god this wouldnt even be a thing right now if it werent for fucking vantas and his motivational speech  
TG: titled 'how to shoot interpersonal relationships in the face for giant scrotums'  
TG: i bet casanova used those kinda lines on all the chicks he nailed  
TG: 'hey i know its sudden but the human race is facing critical extinction and its up to us what do you say'  
TG: who could say no to that i mean goddamn  
TG: my pants would be off before he even finished the sentence  
TG: my pants are already half off and he isnt even here  
TG: its basically the perfect pick-up line delivered from a grandmaster   
GG: oh dave, its not like that! really! :(   
TG: but isnt it  
TG: just  
TG: i dunno dont you feel like you deserve more than this  
TG: because i sure as hell do   
GG: its........not that bad :\   
TG: sorry jade but look around  
TG: earth just got fucked in a way i can only describe as excessively pornographic  
TG: and everyone but the four of us and our family-slash-paradox-parents roasted along with it  
TG: if thats not that bad then id be terrified to see what classifies as a shit-your-pants catastrophe in your world  
TG: because damn girl i thought i had high standards but those are just astronomical  
TG: and if you arent the slightest bit pissed that you dont even get a choice in the matter  
TG: then ive gotta wonder if you didnt swap places with your robot   
GG: wow thanks dave, that feels great  
GG: you are really on a roll today   
TG:  
TG: i didnt mean it like that   
GG: right, of course you didnt!  
GG: you meant that you deserve better than me and that im an unemotional robot in a NICE way!   
TG: jade i didnt say that   
GG: YES YOU DID!!!!!!!  
GG: look dave, im not like you, ok????  
GG: ive NEVER gotten a choice  
GG: about ANYTHING  
GG: i landed in washington in the same town as john!!!  
GG: you and rose and john all got to live where you fell, but no, not me  
GG: if id had a CHOICE, i wouldve stayed there and grown up with a brother and a family and people and school and everything that a normal kid gets to have  
GG: but i didnt get that choice!!!  
GG: i didnt get to choose that grandpa would take me out to the middle of fucking nowhere 200 miles away from the nearest human settlement and never let me leave  
GG: i didnt get to choose that my dreamself would always be awake and that it would fall to me to spend YEARS of sleeping my life away just to record everything that happened in the clouds, and that i would have my friends so close for so long but i couldnt even talk to them because they werent awake yet  
GG: i didnt get to choose to live without human contact for YEARS after grandpa died until i finally met you guys on the internet, and then met you again here in the game  
GG: so EXCUSE ME for thinking that not having a choice about getting paired with my best friend in the world who is a really amazing, incredible guy but also kind of an INSUFFERABLE JERKASS sometimes wasnt so bad!!! in fact i thought it was a pretty good deal!!  
GG: because you know what, dave????  
GG: if i had a choice, I WOULDNT HAVE CHANGED THAT PART!!!!!!!  
GG: im sorry that you feel like you deserve better than me and the prospect of getting stuck with me offends you so much  
GG: but guess what!!!! it turns out that the game is going to give our population a leg up anyway so you should be really happy to know that you wont get stuck with me after all!!!!!!!!!!!  
GG: THERES your choice, dave  
GG: and for the record, all i was going to ask was for you to drop the stupid fucking cloning equipment from the catalog so i could get to work on cloning FROGS for my PLANET  
GG: which i was going to clarify but i got sidetracked by you being an ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
TG: ...  
TG: frogs   
GG: yes, FROGS!!!!  
GG: you were the one who assumed i was talking about us!!!!!!!!   
TG: wow im  
TG: kind of retarded arent i   
GG: yes you are!!!!!   
TG: alright well  
TG: i dont think its possible for this to be any more awkward than it already is   
GG: nope ._.   
TG: or any more opposite than how i was hoping this would happen  
TG: because its not like i spent a pathetic amount of time giving some thought to this or anything before our own personal shit pinata exploded  
TG: not exactly this obviously since im not a psychic, con-goer, or sex offender  
TG: but you know   
GG: .....us?   
TG: yeah  
TG: figured eventually youd get sick of being a hermit leave your island  
TG: chill on the mainland awhile  
TG: maybe go to school  
TG: we'd live in the same city and hang out or something  
TG: and itd kind of go from there one way or another  
TG: ...  
TG: wow that looks dumb as fuck in writing  
TG: solid plan  
TG: way to commit strider   
GG: i think  
GG: i wouldve liked for it to go that way :(   
TG: yeah me too  
TG: and thats what i meant about deserving better jade  
TG: getting pissed at this repopulation imperative pulling grand fucking larceny on our chances of having something more  
TG: i dunno   
GG: ...normal?   
TG: normal  
TG: thats a good word  
TG: lets go with that one   
GG: so it wasnt about getting stuck with me after all, huh   
TG: nope   
GG: i guess that makes me kind of retarded too >_>   
TG: a little   
GG: wow i feel silly now!  
GG: im sorry i freaked out at you dave :(  
GG: you arent really an asshole   
TG: nah i kinda am  
TG: but its cool  
TG: sorry you thought that i didnt  
TG: you know   
GG: so you really...?   
TG: like thats even a question  
TG: btw where do you want this shit  
TG: if i recall we have some work to do   
GG: oh!!!  
GG: jeez i almost forgot all about that  
GG: just put it down anywhere   
TG: hows that   
GG: perfect!  
GG: now lets get to it :D   
TG: sounds good   
GG: oh and dave?  
GG: <3   
TG: haha alright  
TG: i fold  
TG: throw your calendars out because today marks year 0 ad  
TG: ad in this case being after dave turns into a colossal vagina  
TG: <3  
TG: there are you happy now   
GG: yes!!!!! :D   
TG: good


End file.
